Hey You...My Life Isn't Perfect Either

Dearest friend,

You.  The one reading blogs and checking Facebook and Instagram thinking that everyone else's life is perfect and wondering why yours isn't as exciting or easy as theirs...please listen to me.

The internet is weird.  Blogland is even more weird and it's hard to understand unless you do it.

It's really easy to think that someone's life is perfect and wonderful by looking at their "internet self." We post our favorite holiday photos, vacation photos, our travel photos and post statuses about the great things that happen in life.  In fact, a lot of us roll our eyes at the depressing statuses or unfollow the "real" posts.  It's like we enjoy the illusion of a perfect world and live vicariously through it.  

In blogging, I really try to be real.  I don't want to portray a fake image of myself or try to make myself or my family look better than we are.  But at the same time, I also strive to be positive and find the good in everything.  I blog for two main reasons: 

1.  To document life.  I love photos and memories and looking back on what has happened, but I also don't scrapbook, so this is a great way for me to do that - plus, it's a whole lot cheaper than scrapbooking!  And if my house ever catches on fire, I don't have to worry about grabbing all of the memory books...just my loved ones.  In fact, I try to live my life in a way that if there was a tragedy, the only thing I would want to save are my loved ones.  I don't want to keep material things that I cling to, but that's a story for another day...

2.  To process life and not miss out on what's important and to dwell on the good in everything.  I love writing about life.  Sometimes, I live a situation, and I don't fully understand it until I've written about it.  Writing about date nights remind me to pursue my husband daily.  Writing about time with family or vacations, remind me how lucky I am to have them and how I need to remember to rest.  Writing about these moments in time remind me of all of the good things in life despite the things that may be getting me down.

However, my life isn't perfect.  Right now, husband and I are really struggling with finding true community where we live.  We have lots of friends and close friends at that, but most of them are not local and the ones that do live near us, are all separate from each other.  My grandparents are struggling with their health right now.  I'm walking a friend through divorce - her husband is just leaving her - and it SUCKS.  We really desire to be able to own our own home, but because of where we live, that may never be a reality (and renting seems hopeless at times since it's so insanely expensive around here!).  I watch my sister deal with the struggles of being a stepmom, and my heart aches for her.  Someone I am really close with had a miscarriage and I never want to have to see anyone experience such pain ever.  Although we both love our jobs, we both experience stressful moments that make us want to quit.  We fight.  We both feel so sucked into the business of Silicon Valley, that we feel like we never get to just be at home together.  It's exhausting.  Life is hard sometimes.  And it sucks.

But, despite all of those things, life is also beautiful.  And I want to choose to see it as just that.  I'm not one to sit and sulk on the hard things.  My mom raised me to see the good, make the best of it, and move forward.  There is a time for grieving, and a time to be angry, but for me, at least for now, that's not here on my blog.  I don't want to use this space to vent or to go on and on about what is not going right (although, if that's what your space is to you, that is completely and totally fine), it's just not mine.  I want to use this space to encourage and build up.  I want to inspire and most importantly, remind myself that I should be grateful because life IS beautiful.

I just want you to know, that despite the cute dog and the hot husband I tend to rave about, my life isn't perfect.  My life is beautiful, but it's not perfect.  And I want to make sure that you all know that.  

Thanks for being here.

-C