Stepping Stones to Parenting

You guys...Benny finally got fixed...and it was the saddest thing ever.

I've never had a dog when they had that surgery and it's so pitiful!  They are in tons of pain and their incision is actually pretty big for a guy of only 13 pounds and you can't let them run, jump, or play, AND they have to wear the awful cone of shame.  Seriously, it was so sad to watch for the first couple of days.  The first night after his surgery, he just laid there and cried every few hours during the night when he'd wake up and remember he was still in pain.  I woke up at 4AM just so I could lay there and pet and comfort him in his pain...I was exhausted, but I just felt so bad for him.  

Luckily, he's back to normal now...at least energy-wise.  He doesn't get his stitches out for another week, so we just have to make sure he doesn't lick his wound and irritate it, but phew!  I'm so glad this is almost over.

We went for a hike in Santa Cruz with one of my friends from college this weekend and it was so sad not to bring him - it almost felt wrong!  I knew he would have loved it.  I kept thinking about how things like this are going to feel once my little boy comes.  I do love my Benny-boo to pieces and I can be a little obsessed with him at times (insert big cheesy grin emoji), but at the end of the day, I view him as my dog, not as my child, and I can't imagine how hard it is to watch your baby in so much pain, or have to keep your kid from playing because they need to rest when all they want to do is run around, or see them have to miss out on fun things because sometimes you just have to sit things out...I haven't even held my boy yet, but I can already see how much parenting is going to take an emotional toll on me as a mom.  It's not going to be easy stuff, man!

I'm so glad I started out with this little bundle of fur and snuggles because this boo is starting to prepare me for the real thing...softening my heart for little ones and teaching me about love that is beyond myself.

And thank the good Lord I have husband to do it all with.